Consider, if you will, the humble spa treatment protocol.

It is the basis of any spa service menu. It's a recipe, if you will, or more accurately a choreographed script that guides a spa technician through the entire process of delivering his or her service.

Professional treatment protocols require extensive training in esthetics, massage, Reiki (the art of spiritual healing), hot stone therapy, and a host of other disciplines that often appear at the far end of the touchy-feely scale. Depending on the skill of the technician, such treatments are generously beneficial (stress reduction) and well worth the money — if you can afford the visit.

But what if you don't have the time or cash for a professional spa treatment? Easy! Do one at home.

Home spa treatments are wildly popular these days. They involve little more than products you may already have in your bathroom, plus the patience to learn a few simple massage techniques.

So, if you're game, we have a couple of protocols that'll turn your weekend at home into a mini vacation — without the staggering credit card bill as your parting gift.

MenEssentials Solo Facial
Okay, Solo Joe, your date bailed at the last minute and your dance club duds are at the cleaner's. So what do you do with an entire Friday night all to your lonesome?

Spend the evening pleasuring yourself, of course!

What You Need
- Your favorite shave cream or gel
- Richardson Bay Spray
- Your favorite face wash
- A finely textured facial scrub
- Your favorite clay mask
- Barbary Coast Scrub
- Your favorite moisturizer
- Two (2) absorbent hand towels
- Warm water in a large bowl or sink

Time: 20 minutes, not including the shave.

Protocol:

1. Shave immediately before your treatment. Use fresh blades.



2. Dampen the hand towel with warm water and heat at MEDIUM in your microwave until it's hot. Don't overheat and don't leave the towel unattended while it's toasting in the nuke. Alternatively, soak the towel in hot water and wring it out thoroughly.



3. Lightly mist your hot towel with Richardson Bay Spray. Wrap the towel around your face and leave for 30 seconds.



4. Remove the damp towel and set aside. Wash your face, neck and shoulders in warm water. Gently remove excess face wash with the damp towel.



5. Apply facial scrub using small, circular movements to exfoliate the skin. Remove the scrub with warm water and your damp towel. Pat dry with the second, dry hand towel.



6. Using the tips of your fingers, apply a thing layer of clay mask to your face and leave for five to 10 minutes.



7. While the mask sets, dip your hands in warm water and use a small amount of Barbary Coast Scrub to exfoliate your hands and palms using firm, circular motions.



8. Rinse your hands under warm water and dry with the second hand towel.



9. Remove the set clay mask with warm water and the damp hand towel.



10. Spritz some Richardson Bay Spray into your palms and apply directly to your face, pressing into the skin. Do not rub.



11. Apply moisturizer to your face and hands.

MenEssentials Couples Facial with Massage
This is essentially the Solo Facial with an additional massage component. How erotic you decide to make it is entirely up to you. With a little mood lighting, some wine and light Jazz — well, use your imagination, Einstein.

What You Need
Same items as the Solo Facial, plus a bottle of massage oil.

Time: 1-1.5 hours.

Protocol
Follow Steps 1-4 above. Your partner can skip the shave, unless he's a he. Or unless she needs a shave too — in which case, eek.

Insert the following massage techniques between Steps 4 and 5. You go first and then it's your partner's turn to work on you. Remember: This isn't pottery class. If you're not sure how much pressure to apply, always err on the side of caution. And stay away from vital organs, particularly the kidneys.

Effluerage
Your partner lies face-down while you apply massage oil using long effleurage strokes. Very simply, effleurage is a continuous stroke in one direction along the length and width of the back. Fill your palm with massage oil (never apply directly to your partner's skin) and rub the oil between both hands to warm it. Always keep one hand in contact with your partner's skin, once you start the massage.

Begin your effleurage strokes at the hips and slowly move your hands up the back, along both sides of the spine. Start a second effleurage stroke at the neck and work down along both sides of the spine. Perform two alternating effleurage strokes across the shoulders. At this point, your partner's back should be well oiled.

Pettrisage
Pettrisage is like kneading dough. From the shoulders, slide your hands down the back to the hips. Starting at the left hip and working along the underarm area, lightly knead or squeeze your partner's skin until you reach the shoulder. Apply pressure only with your thumbs, using circular motions. Use your fingers only to scoop and hold onto your partner's skin.

Pressure Points
Starting at the neck, use the thumbs of both hands to apply pressure to the muscles along both sides of the spinal column. Pretend you're gently pressing buttons with the pads of your thumbs. Don't apply pressure to the spine itself. When you reach the small of your partner's back, finish the sequence with an effleurage stroke on both sides of the spine to the neck. Repeat the entire sequence three times.

Cross-hatched Effleurage
In sequence, perform five long effleurage strokes up both sides of the spine and five short effleurage strokes from side to side across the back. Apply a little more pressure this time.

Tapotement
Exactly as you see in the movies. These are light (repeat: LIGHT) karate chops with the fleshy sides of your palms. Move from the neck to the hips, tapping gently while you work.

Finish
Complete your massage with delicate effleurage strokes along the back, using the tips of your fingers rather than the entire surface of your hands. Your fingers are feathers, skimming the surface of your partner's skin. Repeat five times.

If you're still awake after your massage, complete Steps 5-11 of the Solo treatment.

Of course, you'll both be in a state of undressedness by that point. The facial can always wait until tomorrow.